If you’ve ever had the misfortune of going to court, you’ll know that it’s rarely as dramatic as what they show us in movies and TV shows. The law is dull, and dry, and disinterested in the personal.
However, every once in a while, a lawyer will get the chance to slam dunk a case — whether through their own cleverness or someone else’s stupidity. There’s simply nothing better than an ‘I rest my case’ moment. Well… as long as you’re the one resting.
38. Way to prove them wrong
37. Technically correct
36. Correct me if I’m wrong…
35. Put me in the trial, coach
34. You coulda just confessed
33. Tu quoque
32. That’s a compulsive liar for you
31. Shoulda taken the fifth
30. Oh, that’s right, I’m lying
29. Photographic evidence
28. Speak of the devil
27. A speeding trap
26. You are entitled to nothing
25. Throw the book at him
24. How old is old?
23. Shoulda gone to med school
22. I can’t make you
21. Murder ink
20. Dude, have you never watched Judge Judy?
19. I just hope the guy didn’t do it
18. Paid with your own coin
17. I steal from you, then I sue you
16. How do you not sense where these questions are going?
15. The whole truth
14. If they’re laughing, you’re losing
A colleague was questioning a police officer about a “consensual” encounter with a defendant. Officer claimed that he in no way intimidated the client, and that the client was free to walk away at any point. My colleague said, “Officer, you think based on what you said and how you acted that any person in this room under those circumstances would feel like they could walk away?” The officer said yes, and the full courtroom audience actually started laughing.
13. You punched the wrong dude
12. What was your defense going to be?
11. Loose ends
We just had a case where a guy embezzled our client, then SUED them!
10. You’re on candid camera
9. You are the evidence, pal
8. A team effort
Workers comp claim for a back injury that seems suspicious, so they sic a PI on the guy. This is fairly common.
PI comes back with a video of the guy batting softball batting practice, torquing his back over and over. Exactly what he says he can’t do.
Okay, whatever. People get caught all the time.
The camera pans and I can’t believe who is shagging balls in the outfield?
Keep reading on the next page.
8. A team effort (cont’d)
So, ya. Case dropped and the judge took it up with the Bar Association. FIY, for any would-be lawyers out there: you can’t break the law. And you definitely can’t aid and abet your clients while they break the law. It’s right there in the title: lawyer.